The fourth paragraph of the United States Constitution says we ought to have a census.
That’s how vital a function the founders thought it to be. It is near the very tippy-top of their list. It is, after all, how we are supposed to decide where legislators in the House of Representatives come from. It is also supposed to direct the allocation of taxes. It’s right in there, look:
Representatives and direct taxes shall be apportioned among the several states which may be included within this union, according to their respective numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole number of free persons, including those bound to service for a term of years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons. The actual Enumeration shall be made within three years after the first meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent term of ten years, in such manner as they shall by law direct. The number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty thousand, but each state shall have at least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the state of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five, and Georgia three.
Now. Here’s the United State Congress’ very own crazy person with the media’s very own crazy person. It is quite clear, though, that even Bachmann is too batshit loony for even the likes of the Glennster.
First, let’s talk ACORN. We know that ACORN took quite a beating during the 2008 election from the right-wang “media.” Here’s round two, and it’s the same old strategy: Lie your ass off about the situation and continue to smear this fine organization. No less a news organization than the Moonie rag “Washington Times” has written an editorial accusing that ACORN will be counting heads. Sheer idiocy. The Census Bureau’s partners program encourages NGOs like ACORN to help educate its constituency about the census, a big help in hard-to-count populations. The Census Bureau actually HIRES PEOPLE to administrate the census. NOBODY FROM ACORN IS GOING TO COUNT YOU, ASSHAT. Other census partners include: Asian American Justice Center, LULAC, American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, Office of Hawaiian Affairs, NAACP, Puerto Rico National State Education Department, and the Congress of American Indians. Why aren’t these morons raising holy heck about these partnerships, too?
And Glenn, way to pull a number out of your ass! Let’s go to the United States Code and see how much that fine really is, shall we?
221. Refusal or neglect to answer questions; false answers
(a) Whoever, being over eighteen years of age, refuses or willfully neglects, when requested by the Secretary, or by any other authorized officer or employee of the Department of Commerce or bureau or agency thereof acting under the instructions of the Secretary or authorized officer, to answer, to the best of his knowledge, any of the questions on any schedule submitted to him in connection with any census or survey provided for by subchapters I, II, IV, and V of chapter 5 of this title, applying to himself or to the family to which he belongs or is related, or to the farm or farms of which he or his family is the occupant, shall be fined not more than $100.
(b) Whoever, when answering questions described in subsection (a) of this section, and under the conditions or circumstances described in such subsection, willfully gives any answer that is false, shall be fined not more than $500.
(c) Notwithstanding any other provision of this title, no person shall be compelled to disclose information relative to his religious beliefs or to membership in a religious body.
Sec. 222. Giving suggestions or information with intent to cause inaccurate enumeration of population
Whoever, either directly or indirectly, offers or renders to any officer or employee of the Department of Commerce or bureau or agency thereof engaged in making an enumeration of population under subchapter II, IV, or V of chapter 5 of this title, any suggestion, advice, information or assistance of any kind, with the intent or purpose of causing an inaccurate enumeration of population to be made, shall be fined not more than $1,000 or imprisoned not more than one year, or both.
Even if you out-and-out lie, the most your fine can be is one thousand dollars. But that’s okay, Glenn. Just eyeball it. You’ll get close enough. Facts, schmacts.
Now, on to Lulu: “I think there is a point when you say enough is enough to government intrusion.” Hey. Nutty. “Enough is enough?” To the Constitution? Article I, fourth paragraph? How do you not fall down more?
Now. Something to understand about the 2010 Census: In previous counts, there was a long form and a short form. Most households are asked to complete the short form, but some received the long form to give more detailed data. In 2010, the Census Bureau is throwing out the long form with the bath water. Instead of the long form, the Bureau conducts the American Community Survey (ACS), conducted throughout every year. The short form does not ask, for example, if the person is a citizen. But the ACS does. So, right off the bat you see that Bachmann has no idea what she is talking about.
Why does the federal government need your phone number? I don’t know, nutty. Let’s see if it says why on the form. “What is this person’s telephone number? We may contact this person if we don’t understand an answer.” And, for the record, nutty, your 1040 tax form also asks for your telephone number. So, you see, the federal government already has you phone number, unless, of course, you’re refusing to file your taxes, too. Also, there’s that whole warrantless wiretapping episode…not to mention that there’s this thing called a “telephone directory”…yeah, I’m pretty sure the federal government already has your telephone number or can get it if it needs it. Loon.
This may be the most weird comment in this whole exchange, from Beck:
Can they um…because I’ve considered not filling it out when I get it, but I want to make sure that they don’t use this as a loophole to, you know, say that I can’t have a permit for my gun, etcetera etcetera…
Glenn. Are you okay? Did you have a little stroke? Should we begin the compressions? Glenn?
And, Lulu, for the record, it was not “the United States government” that abused census information in the 1940s. It was the FBI. And they tried to do it again in 1980, and the courts said that NO FEDERAL AGENCY, not even the FBI, should have access to census data.
This exchange is worth watching. You’ll swear that both of these mouth-breathers have been dipping into MJ’s Diprivan stash. Good-NESS.
It’s a little annoying to read headlines that say “Frankin Wins Election.” Hell, he won the election last November, or at least after the recount in December. The issue lately has been getting a final court ruling, and a concession from that asshole Norm Coleman which is what he got after the Minnesota Supremes ruled.
And of course everybody is making nice with Norm. Frankin saying how gracious he was. Amy Klobuchar said what a gracious concession statement Coleman made. Betcha that was all part of the deal. Politicians forced to make nice to get the deal done. Help Coleman repair his image so that the people of Minnesota will no longer think him an asshole.
Here is the bottom line. Coleman is an asshole. The initial recount was not requested by Frankin, it was required by law. (Although Frankin would have been crazy not to demand it.) It was scrupulously conducted, revealed that Frankin was the winner. Coleman appealed. The courts reviewed the recount and concluded that it was absolutely fair. Any reasonable person would have stopped there. Coleman appealed. He claimed that the rules for absentee voting should be changed for him. He lost on that argument. He appealed. The matter dragged on. Not because Coleman had a claim, but because he is an asshole. Like most other assholes who served in the Senate, he thinks he is entitled to the job, the position, the fabulousness of it all made him important enough to stay forever.
We have seen a lot of this from people who are used to power. Joe LIEberman doesn’t like the fact that the Democratic Party thinks he is not a Democrat so he runs as a LIEbermanian. Party principles did not matter, Joe LIEberman mattered. Ted Stevens (not convicted on a technicality) sold votes for repairs to his house and other bribes. He was given a standing ovation by the Senate when he left. It was not the Senate that mattered, it was the good old boys club that mattered, (but maybe thats all the Senate really is). Watch today’s headlines for Daniel Inouye’s abuse of power to save a bank he had some money in. I am sure he thinks he is entitled, and if he is actually forced out as a result they will give him a medal and a round of applause.
Welcome to the Senate, Al, it’s a cesspool. Try not to let it affect you. Don’t think you are especially entitled just because you won the election. Don’t get caught cheating on Franny. Keep your sense of humor. Tell the Buddy Hackett joke on the Floor so it goes in the Congressional Record.
I have let too much time go by without noting that Ron Kuby’s show on Air America has been cancelled. AA says that they have a place for Ron, but no indication yet what it is.
I was a podcast subscriber and could not take a long road trip without downloading a few hours of Ron’s work. Kuby’s show had the same smart approach to current events that marked Rachel Maddow and Al Franken’s radio time. He combined that with call-ins from fans and unfans to make an entertaining, topical three hours.
Kuby is a thinking liberal, a Jayhawk radical turned Ivy Leaguer, turned criminal defense attorney, turned radio talk show host. He is one of the smartest people on radio and definitely top of the Air America lineup, which suffers from too many blowhards and empty headed radicals. I love the idea of Air America but if they can’t keep talent like Ron Kuby on the air they need to rethink what they are doing.
Bernie Madoff’s 150 year sentence is exactly what he deserves. It is highly unusual for anyone with his money and connections to get such a stiff sentence, and it is still possible he will get out of jail free.
Our history of sentencing white collar criminals over the last 30 years is pretty thin. Andrew Fastow, second banana at Enron, got 37 months for helping to bilk thousands of stockholders, many of whom were his own employees, out of millions and millions of dollars. His boss, Ken Lay was never sentenced because he conveniently died.
Neil Busch paid a $50,000 settlement fee for stealing over $4 million from Silverado Savings and Loan. His brother Jeb was never charged for a fraudulent $4.5 million loan from Broward Federal Savings and Loan, which he never repaid.
The king of them all (Before Bernie) Charles Keating, stole millions and millions from pensioners by telling them that their investments in the bonds issued by Lincoln Federal Savings and Loan were federally insured. He was sentenced to 10 years on a state charge, but it was overturned because of a flawed jury instruction given by Judge Lance Ito (the same judge who presided over the OJ Simpson circus). Keating was given 12 years by a federal court, also overturned for technical reasons. In short Keating served only 4.5 years and can still claim he is completely innocent. (He actually claims he was railroaded by a vindictive government, which had caused his failure.)
One factor contributing to the stiff sentence for Madoff may also be the lack of any action taken against anyone else involved in the current market meltdown. (Robert Alan Stanford, with a $50 billion Madoff look-alike scheme, and a couple of other small Ponzi operations excepted.) No one from Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, Freddie and Fannie no one from Country Wide. No significant actions in the offing.
Will Bernie go down for their sins, or rise again on the third day?
This American Life episode called “Origins” is fascinating (as usual). It is in “Act Two: The Secret Life of Secrets” that we learn that the “state secrets” privilege, upon which the federal government claims it can withhold information if it deems it necessary for national security, is based on a big fat steaming pile of poo.
The piece tells the story of Judy Lother, a Boston suburban housewife whose father was killed in the crash of a B-29 Superfortress in 1948 in Norcross, Georgia. From the Wiki:
Their widows brought an action in tort seeking damages in federal court, under the Federal Tort Claims Act. As part of this action, they requested production of accident reports concerning the crash, but were told by the Air Force that the release of such details would threaten national security. Because of the failure of the government to produce the documents, a directed verdict in favor of the plaintiffs was granted by the trial court. The judgment was affirmed by the United States Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit. The United States Supreme Court reversed the decision, and remanded it to the trial court.
By overturning the decision, SCOTUS recognized state secrets privilege for the first time ever. They also assumed that there was some classified information in the accident reports regarding the top-secret stuff that was on that aeroplane at the time that would jeopardize national security were it released.
But there wasn’t.
Curious about her father’s fate, Judy Lother began to use this thingie called “the Internet.” Eventually, she came across the now-declassified accident reports, which referred to a top-secret project on that aeroplane, but which did not reveal an iota of the data therein. (Her testimony before the Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights, and Civil Liberties of the House Judiciary Committee, January 29, 2008: PDF or View as HTML)
So, you see, even the Supreme Court precedent that recognized “state secrets” is based on a big fat lie. Ain’t that somethin’?
There is movement afoot right now in committee to reform this pile of crap. For an explanation, please see Leahy’s news release here and Kennedy’s here. This does appear to be a decent attempt to tighten up a segment of law that has been way to sloppily managed for too long.
Hal Sparks guest-hosting for Stephanie this morning offered a fascinating Michael Jackson bit today: You know the chorus in “Smooth Criminal?” “Annie are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?” You know where he got that?
When I remember where I was when I first heard about Michael Jackson’s death, I will remember just being in my little kitchen trying to busy myself while waiting for the arrival of PB for the weekend. That is all. I switched on the kitchen TV for a little Hardballs. And I yelped at the headline.
I don’t know why. His death at 50 should be no surprise—a person who voluntarily has 5/8 of his head’s cartilage removed isn’t going to live to be 95. I have always believed that Jackson angered the Muses by scarfing up the Beatles’ catalog, and that all of his misfortune can be attributed to their wrath upon him. At any time, had Jackson simply returned the catalog free of charge to Sir Paul, his boils would disappear, his wealth would return, his schnoz would grow back, and he would have a brand new family to boot.
I listened intently to “Thriller.” I was in junior high school when it was released, and it and Talking Heads’ “Speaking in Tongues” were in high rotation on my turntable. It is one of the most comprehensively good collections of music ever produced. This is a scientific fact.
But still, I don’t understand why people weren’t this bent out of shape when Billy Preston died. (I sure was.)
Now, as Papa Bonk has indicated: Can we get back to the news? Please?
Note to Hal Sparks: No, no, Hal. Michael Jackson had a hyperbaric chamber. CONGRESS has a hyperbolic chamber. Two of them, actually…
Michael Jackson. One of a kind. Icon. Artist. Pedophile. RIP. We have to note his passing, and it is worthy of a news headline because of his age, his career, and his attempt to come back. Maybe ten minutes. But two hours of Keith Olberman’s time? Endless cable coverage? Come On. This is the biggest waste of valuable air time since they tried to canonize the Raygunner. I shudder to think about how much time they will spend on MJ’s funeral.
Two other icons of my youth died this week. Ed McMahon, a mainstay of the greatest talk show of all time (Johnny Carson should be a canonized national treasure). Farah Fawcett was just smoking hot, the first female action hero and a major influence in the fashion choices of the time. They both got good send-offs, including, in Farah’s case, a death watch appropriate to her condition.
Give Ed and Farah five minutes maximum. Maybe 10 minutes for Michael only because it was not expected. That’s plenty. Get back to the real business of the news. What is going on in Iran? Will Congress ever investigate the criminal activities of that moron our former president? Who is the Argentinian hottie? Is she really a cousin to Evita? (OK I made that up.) Will the federal government ban mowing of highway medians? There is work to be done!!
As I went through my ablutions this morning, I thought to myself, self, you should really include in your blog posting that there’s no way in hell any man flies to Argentina on a whim unless he’s following his penis.
But I didn’t. I mean, I mean, I all but said it. But I didn’t. Woulda shoulda coulda.
You know, I think it’s time for the Republigoats to codify their actual stance on extra-marital kertanging into their platform—preferably right after “Protecting Our Families” and “Preserving Our Values,”* as follows.
Fucking Around on Our Wives It’s okay for Republicans to fuck around on their wives. It’s not okay for Democrats to fuck around on their wives. If a Democrat gets caught fucking around on his wife, Republicans are allowed to run him of office and to use the event to disparage and smear the Democratic Party ad infinitum.** If a Republican gets caught fucking around on his wife, he may resign a token post but remain in power, provided he appears at a press conference, preferably but not necessarily with said humiliated wife, and that he appear to be sorrowful about fucking around on his wife. He must also utilize at least one mention of the sweet blessed name of Jesus or several pithy Bible quotes. Once this deed is accomplished, the Republican receives the GOP Medal of Freedom and a certificate for three free lap dances*** Rob Roy cocktails at Camelot Show Bar.
Such a platform change would certainly be more honest and would make things much easier on our poor friends in the GOOP.
* Actual planks of the GOOP’s 2008 Republican Platform.
** Every Republigoat I have ever met still thinks that blue dress and/or cigar jokes are funny.
*** Taxation Without Representation: Lap dances are illegal in the District of Columbia.
*
But there is something to bear in mind regarding Sanford’s incredible press conference of the day: It was little more than a distraction.
Sanford did far worse to his state than he did to his beleaguered wife and family. He abandoned South Carolina. For an entire workweek. One of the arguments the Monigators made was that Bill Clinton’s affair might have caused him to be derelict in his duties. Sanford’s affair clear-cut made him derelict in his duties.
Shit, South Carolina’s Constitution doesn’t even set the threshhold at “high crimes and misdemeanors.”
SECTION 1. Power of impeachment; vote required; suspension of officer impeached.
The House of Representatives alone shall have the power of impeachment in cases of serious crimes or serious misconduct in office by officials elected on a statewide basis, state judges, and such other state officers as may be designated by law. The affirmative vote of two-thirds of all members elected shall be required for an impeachment. Any officer impeached shall thereby be suspended from office until judgment in the case shall have been pronounced, and the office shall be filled during the trial in such manner as may be provided by law. (1970 (56) 2680; 1971 (57) 48.)
Not showing up for work for a week is most certainly “serious misconduct.”
If you don’t believe it, try it yourself sometime.
I was going to write that, if they don’t impeach this guy, impeachment doesn’t mean anything anymore.
Then I remembered that, thanks to Nance Pelosi and friends, actually, it doesn’t.
At first glance, the recent story about the five-day disappearance of Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina seems to be simply weird and vastly overplayed. Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer has passed on that Sanford is “somewhat taken aback by all of the interest.” On its surface, that is the sort of story this seems like, that of a famished 24-hour news cycle on the prowl for dinner, much ado about nothing and golly gee shucks, the man just went hikin’ for goodness sake.
At least that’s what I thought before I went to sleep last night. This morning, Sanford says he spent a week in Argentina.
The thing is, though, well, how do I put this…you know when you were a kid, and your mama would ask you, “WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?” If she asked you that question and you lied to her about where you actually had been, why did you lie?
Because you were up to something you knew you shouldn’t be up to.
Among other reasons, this is why the Sanford story has legs. It’s not something he’s going to be able to wriggle out easily. Aside from the more obvious questions: Who did Sanford expect to govern the state while he was out of touch? Should someone who would leave the ship of state untended for a week be allowed to steer? Why did he use a state car to drive to the airport? Did he leave an armed car in an airport parking lot? Yada, yada, yada.
Besides these specific questions, there is a general sense that, if one lies about one’s whereabouts, that may mean one was up to no good wherever he was. This is not going to shake out well for the famous would-be stimulus rejector.
